We were a brand new team of investigators.
We'd only known each other from the online group called Paranormal Palolo, but none of us lived in the valley. We agreed it was a catchy name, so we used it. Gathering this evening for the investigation is also the first time we're meeting in person. There's a lot of nerdy awkwardness, but no time to be acquainted. Assignments are immediately handed out by Simon Alaneo, who was just approved to join the online group that same morning."I'm the lead, since I've headed other paranormal groups in Vegas and Seattle," he said while pointing to himself. "You," he said, pointing to the pretty, petite part Asian, part Caucasian girl, "you're the assistant lead, you're with me."
"Whuuuut?" Everyone else groaned.
Pointing to Vera Kaliko, he said, "You're the psychic medium."
Pointing to Vera's friend, Polly, Simon said, "You're the demonologist. Everyone else, just record information visually and by audio means!"
Collectively, the group walked away from Simon and hopped in the 15-passenger van, leaving Simon behind. The destination took us into the depths of Palolo Valley to a small dead-end side street. At the end of the street was the main stream, sometimes a river, that ran down the valley. The owner had us park in her driveway, and as we emptied the van, she began to explain everything.
"I don't know how to explain it," she was already crying. "You have to go inside my house and see for yourselves. Don't worry about taking off your shoes and slippers, just go inside."
Everyone was shaking with giddy anticipation because of the possibility of what we would see, hear, and feel in the quaint Palolo home. We entered, and the lights were off, the curtains were drawn. Typical of what one would expect in a haunted house. When the owner walked in behind us, she turned the lights on in the living room, and we saw a group of people standing in front of us, with guns and knives.
"Empty your wallets of cash, credit cards on the floor. Just drop it on the floor," she instructed. "Phones too, you can keep your car keys because otherwise, how are you gonna get home?"
Her cohorts all broke out laughing at our expense. Vera Kaliko wasn't moving quick enough for the lady's taste, so she backhanded Vera across her cheek. "Cash, credit cards, phone, on the floor. Tonight is not the night to be a bitch sista, that's my job!"
Before we were all escorted back to our van and told to forget this address and erase it from our memory, I noticed a framed photograph sitting on a stand next to a rattan chair. We were all shaken. Polly got a good look at Vera's cheek, which was red and a bit swollen. Otherwise, she was fine. Some in the group were angry, others were determined to sue, while most blamed whoever had been foolish enough to form this group and trick everyone else into becoming members.
"This is a scam." Vera said. "The admin of this group is probably friends with those people who robbed us!"
The van is pulling up to where we all parked and met, right in front of the Head Start preschool. Simon is still there, waiting for us. "You don't know how right you are," I tell Vera. "But you'll see in a second."
Everyone emptied the van, crying and complaining, but simultaneously calling the police to report the larceny. I was the last to get out, and while Simon gloated over everyone, doling out his 'I told you so's,' if we had let him lead us, we would not have been robbed. I made a beeline straight toward him and laid him out with a straight punch to the tip of his jaw.
"Your picture was sitting on that end table next to the rattan chair, you motherfucker!" I shouted. I couldn't let him regain his senses so he'd be able to retaliate, so I punted him in the ribs and stepped on his ear, grinding it under my boot. So much for Paranormal Palolo, which was literally born and died in one night.
***
On my own, I headed to Zippys after making my report. I sat alone, drowning my regrets in a bowl of Chili and rice. No cheese, no onions, just the Chili and rice. The waitress was friendly enough to bring me a sprunch, which I appreciated. Glancing at the door, I saw Vera and Polly walk in. Behind them was the hapa girl and her boyfriend, and a second later, Derek Kawashima, the founder of Palolo Paranormal. I walked up to them and told them to join me. "We should all be angry together. Come sit with me,"
Fortunately, they found it funny, and so we ended up occupying a bigger table. The hapa girl's name was Dusty. She introduced her boyfriend as the man she needed when she needed him. He extended his hand to me and said, "Jim Hurley, typical Punahou grad, so no worries! I've heard all the jokes!"
"So, Dusty is a Punahou grad, too? I just assumed," I said.
"I'm studying life and all its intricacies," she spoke with that typical hippie girl I can't be bothered voice.
"What about you, Derek?" I asked while trying not to bother his indulgence in his chicken katsu.
"I cook at Brain-Noodles," he said. "You guys should come one night, when I'm cooking!"
"Polly and I work at Hawaiian-Tel," Vera shared.
"We've been there a long time," Polly said.
"Almost as long as we've been together," Vera nodded.
I couldn't tell them that I was independently wealthy after I won a lawsuit against Mahalo-Air for negligence, where I was injured during a flight. The flight attendant overloaded a storage bin, which opened during some turbulence and fell on my head. I sued the airlines and won. I can't disclose the exact amount, but I can say that I won't have to work for the rest of my life.
"I get a monthly check for disability," I told them. "An old head injury on the job."
"What kind of head injury?" Dusty asked.
"I was working at the Target warehouse and a box fell on my head," I mean, I was a Target employee when the injury happened, just not in a warehouse.
By the end of the dinner, we mutually agreed that we did not like getting robbed, but that the possibility of continuing with paranormal investigations was something we did like. So, we decided to rebrand and start over. We agreed there would be no leaders, that we were all a group of like-minded everyday people. Except Jim, "I'm needed when I'm needed, and when I am needed, it's specifically for one thing. If you know what I mean?"
We understood, so scratch Jim Hurley off the list. So, since we met in a place that was surrounded by three mortuaries, Mililani, Hosoi, and Borthwick. We rebranded ourselves as 3MHB Paranormal. In three days, we'd receive a call for our very first case. A haunted home in Nu'uanu, which is also a senior care living facility. On certain nights, residents are found sleeping on their beds but not in their rooms. Instead, they are found on the lawn and in the parking lot.
...to be continued
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