Iman had two extremes and no middle ground.
No gray matter. She was comprised of absolute unadulterated happiness or devastatingly dark sadness. I always wondered if she'd come down from the lofty heights of joy or if she'd ever pull herself out of the muck of self-immolation. Somewhere in the middle, on rare occasions, was the real Iman. That's when she was vulnerable, when she needed to be held until her tears finally cast her into a deep slumber.She stopped taking her medication at some point, which subsequently led to her two-sided mood swings. To experience Iman in that capacity required Buddhist-like patience and understanding, meaning that your ego had no part in it, because in either extreme, Iman exploited your weaknesses. However, at some point, because we are all human, you reach the precipice of everything you've endured, and you realize you can go no further. Iman knows this; she sees when it's coming, and that's when she is the most dangerous.
She'll reveal a third side of her extremes, the one that is most logical, most together. Smart, confident, strong, well-dressed, and well-made up. It's this third aspect that Iman uses to draw you in. It's seductive because she is hyper-focused on you, making you feel like you're the only one in a room of a hundred people who exists. Her world will revolve around you; everything is laid at your feet.
In bed, she'll fuck you three ways from Sunday, but it won't stop there. Whenever she has the opportunity, she'll take you. In her car, in the store while shopping, wherever it is, you would never think to have sex with someone, that's where Iman will fuck you, and you'll never say no. Make no mistake, it's not love. It's indoctrination, which means that you will be so thoroughly invested in Iman that when the two extremes finally surface, you'll fool yourself into believing that you can save her because of your love. You can't. Iman doesn't know how to love; she only knows how to take.
On May 23, 1983, Iman and I were at the end of our tether. I stopped letting her manipulations guide my life, my job, and my friendships, and I told her it was over. She tried everything, every emotion, every extreme, every seduction to recruit me back to her side, but I'd had enough. My Celica continued down Farrington Highway, and our destination was her house. We said nothing for a few minutes, but she stared at me the entire time. When we came to a stoplight at Gulick and North King, she waited until the light turned green. I drove the Celica forward. She quickly got out of the car and stepped in front of a car coming toward us from the opposite direction. There was no time for that car to stop, so it plowed into Iman at full force, killing her instantly. The aftermath was just as devastating as if Iman had never left.
At her services, her family members clamoured to give the eulogy, and if not, they insisted on having the opportunity to say something. That part of the program alone took an hour. Needless to say, everything went overtime, so there was no real conclusion to Iman's services. They had to close her casket and bear her straight to the burial with no graveside send-off. In the end, the people who should have mattered the most to Iman, who were supposed to love her, made her death about themselves. I understood Iman clearly at that point, and it broke my heart.
This evening, at about 8:45 pm, while driving down North King Street and stopping at the light near Gulick, I saw Iman's wraith standing there in her blue shorts and off-white shirt. She appeared to be completely cognizant and in control of all of her faculties. Her eyes weren't glazed over, and she didn't look to be unsure of herself. She was neither of the three extremes; she was just Iman. She looked at me, and the smile that spread across her face was a smile I'd never seen from Iman before. It was reassuring and filled with a sense that everything was alright. The light that made her appear corporeal slowly dimmed until it went out, and she was gone. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I hope Iman is born into better circumstances to a family that truly loves her, so that she can grow up to be a complete person. Not someone comprised of three extremes. That's no way for a human being to live.
Good story
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