A MONTH AGO
My muscles are beginning to stiffen; soon, cramps will set in. We've been tied up and locked in this struggle for an hour.
We're not kids roughhousing on the living room floor anymore, I've got my arms wrapped around his, using everything I have to stop him from pointing the gun to his head, so he doesn't kill himself. It's been a long hot day; I've been so busy I hardly had the chance to hydrate. After work, I walked in the front door and walked up on Blaine, sitting on the couch, loading a clip into his .45 I jumped on him, and we've been in this situation since. I have to give it one last surge of strength and pull the gun away from him; before I start to cramp up, I'll be helpless to stop him. His phone has been ringing non-stop with that fucking ringtone, "Oh, it's so nice to be with you, I love all the things you say and do, and it's nice to hear you say, you're gonna please me in every way,""Blaine," I'm exhausted, and my tears are dehydrating me even more. "Let go, Blaine let go, please!"
"You let go stupid ass," he panted. "No worry, I won't tell mom when I see her,"
"You're not gonna see mom if you kill yourself, you fuck ass," the more I talk, the more energy I expend, but I'm not getting through to him. I have to think fast. "I'll make you a promise; you tell me why you're doing this, and if it makes sense, I'll let go."
"I'm not stupid; you did this same shit to me growing up," he scoffed. "When I broke your transformers toy, and you promised not to beat me up if I came out of the closet?"
"You weren't trying to kill yourself back then," I nudged his head with mine. "Just tell me, why?"
"You ever put yourself on the line for somebody? Like, to the point where you make a fucking fool of yourself? Like you put in all your time and money, your heart and soul, and then find out it's for nothing in the end? Have you?" His voice wasn't shaking anymore; he wasn't emotionally distraught.
"No, Blaine," I whispered. "I haven't,"
"I have," he began. "I did, I mean I have been,"
"Is this about Kara?"
"Yeah, it's about Kara," he opened his hands and let me take the gun. I took the clip out; it was empty the whole time. I looked over at him as he loaded a full clip into another .45 he had tucked under the cushion. He pointed it straight at me. "I did everything for her, everything, and it was all for nothing, Jimmy. You've been sleeping with her the whole time."
The first shot burned right into my shoulder; it dropped me pretty hard. I'm not sure if it was because of my near state of dehydration, but the pain was so intense that I threw up my lunch. "I had to make sure we kept up the fight for as long as possible until you were too weak to do anything."
"You planned this, you fucking asshole?" Blaine had some brains, after all.
"You were always the stronger one, Jimmy, but I had to be smarter," the next shot burned into my right thigh. It was so visceral that I felt the bullet rip through my muscles and then shatter the bone. I screamed then; the pain was so crippling. "I even let Kara treat me like shit in front of our friends but mostly her friends, her fucking shitty friends."
There it was, of course, at the most inopportune moment, the muscle cramps. I couldn't move; all I could do was suffer. The last shot burned right through my heart, my body was dying, but parts of my conscious could hear Blaine's last words. "You get that one in the heart, Jimmy, because you broke mine,"
~
NOW
Kara is so beautiful in her favorite dress. Everything about her is perfect, her body, her face, the color of her layered hair. She walks in the front door, and the sunlight behind her makes her appear as if she is a radiant angel. She walks up on Blaine sitting on the couch; he's loading a clip into his .45. He places it just under his chin. Kara jumps on him, and they begin to struggle for the gun. "Kara!" I scream at her. "Kara, no! Run babes, run! Kara, run!" She can't hear me, she can't see me, but Blaine can. In the heat of the struggle, he looks my way and gives me a wink.
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