Ghosts Next Door

Ghosts Next Door
by Lopaka Kapanui

Aug 4, 2023

100 Ghost Stories Counting Down To Halloween 2023. #13 Kalani

The local paranormal investigator had great connections, so he could get into many places that no one else could. Like city hall, the municipal building, the DOT, and many remote yards for Hawaiian Tel.

He often went on his own, and his family and friends advised him against it for his safety and for spiritual reasons in case he unintentionally incurred the wrath of a random negative entity. When he came to see me, he said it was not of his own free will and accord but because his wife would not let him in the house until he went and got some kind of help. She was concerned that his paranormal adventures built up too many negative attachments, and she did not want that residual energy in her home. 

"Is your wife just saying that randomly, or does she have a case?" I asked Kalani Meyer.

"She's just mad that I spend all my spare time doing that and not with her and the kids," Kalani snickered.

"It seems she has a legitimate complaint," I began. "If your paranormal adventures were a mutual thing that you both could do, then you'd have her support."

"She wants no part of it," Kalani snickered. "I mean, I try to share with her about what happens, but she turns a deaf ear,"

"So, where in there is the compromise?" I asked.

"Compromise?" Kalani's response was incredulous.

"Your wife is unhappy, so maybe agree to ghost hunt on certain days, and on other days, you focus all your attention on your wife and children," Kalani looked at me like I'd just asked him to jump off a cliff.

"I haven't been in my own house in a month," Kalani leaned forward. "I sleep in my car and have to go to the beach to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and shower. I even have to go to the laundry mat to wash my clothes. Lei won't let me see the kids; what's worse is my own parents agree with her. So can you just sign off on your paper and say something like you talked, I listened, and it's all good?"

"What about the compromise I just proposed?" I asked him.

"I'm here because I agreed with Lei that I would do this. Once my research and videos go viral and get a million hits, I'll be able to step back, relax, and spend all the time they want me to with them," Kalani leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head, and let out a sigh of some kind of imagined victory that had yet to happen.

"You just mentioned that would be something 'they' wanted. You're talking about your wife and kids, yes?"

"Of course," he scoffed.

"So even after this, perceived future success happens; this picture you just painted. You talk about it as if you're doing them the favor of being in your presence?" I asked.

"That's the whole reason I'm here, right?" He shot back. He was clueless, he didn't get it.

"So, your wife is worried about residual negative energy that might have attached itself to you, which is why as we already know, she won't let you into your house. As I asked earlier, is there something to that, or is she imagining things?"

"If there is, I don't see it. I mean, I'd be the first to notice, right?" Kalani asked.

"Well, tell me, what's been happening in your everyday life? How is that going?" I left the door open for him, hoping the floodgates would open, considering we were discussing his favorite subject.

"Well, my boss and fellow co-workers have suddenly become antagonistic toward me, like they're disgusted with me to the point where they want to fight with me," he started.


"Also, when I go somewhere to eat or buy groceries, I always repeat myself because people think I'm saying something else. It's actually getting on my fucking nerves," Kalani continued. "It's like work, everyone is so angry. At first, I thought it was because I'm Hawaiian and brown-skinned, but it's more than that,"

"What about yourself?" I asked. "How do you feel about yourself and the circumstances you're in? That must make you angry?"

"I wish Lei would get her head out of her ass and see just how ridiculous she's being. She's doing this on purpose. She always does stupid shit like this when she can't get her way," I didn't realize how much Kalani's face looked like one of those Japanese Kabuki masks, with the mouth turned down in a perpetual grimace. Eyes burning with anger, and deep creviced dark lines in his face. I slid the paper across my desk with my signature at the bottom, saying that we spoke and that he was relieved enough of his negativity that he could return home. He grabbed the paper and left without a thank you, but he did leave his attitude behind. The one that said I'd just wasted an hour of his time and his life.

The following day, in the news, there was a posted article about a woman in Halawa Heights who shot an intruder who walked into her house wearing a Halloween mask of a Japanese demon. Only when she was brave enough to get closer to the intruder's body did she see it was her husband, Kalani. The paper I signed, clutched tightly in his hand, authorizing him to return to his house, is what he held on to until his last breath. Lei is a cousin of mine on my mother's side. Her family is the Haunuianiho family from Kalapana. Lei felt that her husband Kalani needed help, not from a Therapist or psychiatrist, but from a Kahuna who could talk sense into him. In my life, I've learned that one cannot talk sense into a narcissist whose only focus is his or herself. By the time Kalani came to me, he was too far gone. Nothing I told him would help; he would do what he wanted no matter what anyone told him. So, I signed his paper and let fate lead him to his destined outcome at the hands of his wife.


"Mahalo cousin," Lei hugged me with tears in her eyes as we both stood at Kalani's casket, looking down at the peaceful appearance on his face. "You did all you could, I appreciate it."

"At least let me pay for everything," I asked her. "It's the least I could do,"

"You did everything you could, it's fine," Lei assured me. Aunty Rita came around and hugged her, as did Uncle Ivan, Tiny, Tabby, the Rizal Brothers, and Kealoha. "Please come join us for lunch at Highway Inn, okay?"

"We'll be there," I patted her on the shoulder. We all turned to leave and walked to our cars when Lei called out to me.

"Boy!" She waved.

"Eo!" I replied.

"You can pay for lunch if you like?" She laughed.

"Of course," I laughed. "No worries!"

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