Ghosts Next Door

Ghosts Next Door
by Lopaka Kapanui

Oct 3, 2016

100 Ghost Stories Counting Down To Halloween! 27 Nights Left! "Troll Harold Simon"

There was a Facebook profile that was simple and it didn’t look like much. It was a middle aged local man whose name was Harold Simon. Everything about him was simple, he worked for the state and was single. He lived in Kalihi and his birthday was June 6, 1966. Harold used his employee ID card for his profile pic, it was bland with no smile. He looked like the local version of Liev Shcreiber. Otherwise, his page was bereft of any post or any thoughts or quotes. My friend Erwin thought it would be fun to build a fake profile and troll Harold’s page but I didn’t see the value in it, there was nothing about this guy to merit trolling him. I suggested that Erwin leave him alone but he didn’t listen.

It’s six weeks later and Erwin has finally gotten a response on his Facebook inbox after posting nude pictures of men on Harold's Facebook profile and accusing him of being a pedophile while hiding himself as a state worker. Erwin even posted photo shopped pics on Harold's page, one of them was a pic of what the child born of a human mother and a pig would look like. The meme read,

"Warthog Simon,"

“First and only warning Erwin, stop what you’re doing,” the message was from Harold.

Erwin responds immediately, “Fuck you, you pathetic old man. Make me stop,”

His message inbox rings and Harold responds, “Up to you,”

The green light on Harold’s profile goes off and I head to the kitchen for a sandwich and a beer.

"You're an idiot," I tell him.

The next thing I know, I hear this horrific scream and I jumped out of my skin so suddenly that I dropped the beer bottle and it shattered on the kitchen floor. I ran to the living room just in time to see Harold Simon in the flesh; two large tusks jutted out from his bottom jaw. He held Erwin’s beating heart in his hand while Erwin sat lifeless in front of his laptop.

“Trollers,” Harold smiled. “They give us real Trolls a bad name,”

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