Ghosts Next Door

Ghosts Next Door
by Lopaka Kapanui

May 21, 2022

List 2022

Strangers owe you nothing, and you, in turn, owe nothing to strangers.

Yet, when you have to work with one another, it is assumed that you will try to be pleasant and agreeable. This stranger is here to check off my list, which I understand is his job, but you will have a problem when you take on an air of condescension and classist arrogance by judging my list. I'm better as a friend; I will tell you this now. You don't want me as an enemy. Therefore, I've formatted my encounter with this person as a screenplay so that you can better understand the interaction.


STRANGER

Compassion?


ME

Yes.


STRANGER

Patience?


ME

Yes.


STRANGER

Affability?


ME

Yes.


STRANGER

Filial piety?


ME

Yes.


STRANGER

Really?


ME

(Caught off guard. Beat.)

Yes.


STRANGER

(Adjusting in his seat)

Come now, really? Filial piety?


ME

(Insistent)

Yes.


STRANGER

(Sigh)

If you say so. Alright then, gravitas?


ME

(Annoyed)

Why is that so hard to believe? Filial piety? You don't think I showed any to my parents?


STRANGER

It's not for me to say; it's just that my list is checked off differently compared to your answers.


ME

(Indignant and seething)

Your list is wrong. You didn't live my life; I did!


STRANGER

(Ignoring the statement)

Moving on, shall we?


ME

(Mocking stranger)

Moving on...


STRANGER

(Adjusts, takes a deep breath, and lets out a long sigh. Affects fake smile)

Gravitas?


ME

Yes.


STRANGER

Avarice?


ME

Yeah. Who hasn't?


STRANGER

Mercy?


ME

That depends on the chapter in my life.


STRANGER

So, you were not always merciful?


ME

When I was teaching people how to have physical and mental toughness? No. You're not always going to have mercy given to you, so I prepared them to survive without it.


STRANGER

(Strong check off on his list)

No.


ME

(Shakes head, tired)

Next


STRANGER

That's it. Actually, we are done.


ME

(No reply. Stands up to leave.)


STRANGER

(Smug)

Your list will be submitted to the proper authorities, and I will let you know if you have gained passage to the other side or not.


ME

(Rip's sheet of paper from the stranger's clipboard. Crumples it up and eats it. Chews on it for a while and then spits it back out on him.)


STRANGER

(Long sigh)

This is not a list of judgment; this is a list of your own attributes, good and bad, that you will take into your next life. Your only hiccup was your lack of mercy when it was needed. It was designed to make your students physically and mentally tough. However, that one iota of compassion, just a hint that you cared, could have pushed those who failed your class to actually exceed your expectations and theirs. This list determines karmic reincarnation, or your final opportunity to move into the universe and become enlightened energy. This is what I meant when I talked about gaining passage.



So here I am, waiting for the results of my list. What's your karmic list? What things on that list will you carry with you into your next existence, if there even is one? Food for thought while I wait.


--------------------------


17A Productions Presents

Lopaka Kapanui at Hawaii Theatre
LOPAKA KAPANUI - CHICKEN SKIN GHOST STORIES

A storytelling concert at the historic Hawaii Theatre. This master storyteller is one of Hawaii’s most popular teller of tales and has been in the business of scaring people for more than 20 years. Lopaka is terrifically skilled at provoking that sudden chill going down one’s back or causing the small hairs on your arms to stand up. Chicken skin is what we call it in Hawai‘i. Others might refer to it as chills or goosebumps. Sharing real accounts of Hawaii’s supernatural culture, Lopaka often leaves audience members questioning the darkness on their drive home and anxiously leaving the light on at bedtime.

GET YOUR TICKETS HERE!






 

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