Ghosts Next Door

Ghosts Next Door
by Lopaka Kapanui

Jun 11, 2022

Moonlight 2022

No one had ever done a moonlight parade through Waikīkī. A starlight parade, yes, but not one by the full moon's light.

Participants in previous parades were very excited and curious to know what the theme might be and what kind of units would be appropriate for such an unheard-of event? Astronomers were invited, as were native Hawaiian navigators who sailed by the celestial bodies and the situation of fixed stars along with various other elements that nature provided. Kahuna performed divination by the body of clouds, and winds were also invited. So too were those Kahuna of winds and rains extended and invitation. But, of course, we cannot forget other Kahuna who knew the tides. Most important were those Kahuna who lived by the moon; they were asked to be the marshall of the moonlight parade but humbly declined and asked that someone else be chosen as marshall. This is where things took a turn for the strange.

The owner of a tiny funeral home in Makaha became the parade marshall and requested that he be allowed to drive a convertible hearse along the route. He was allowed to do so without any resistance from the parade commission. Otherwise, the event was a sell-out on the evening of its premiere. As all the units, trolleys, individual cars, and walking groups gathered in the parking lot at magic island, they waited until precisely eight in the evening when the conditions were just right. The parade marshall and funeral director, Mr. Gouveia, sat in his convertible hearse while his driver Terrence sat at the steering wheel. The parade commission got on his loudspeaker and introduced himself right when the power went out. All the lights in the magic island parking lot and every light at Ala Moana beach park died and threw everything to a pitched black. The shine and hue were different when the lights came back on a second later. They were UV lights. Everyone was horrified to see and hear the funeral director and his driver screaming hysterically as they burned aflame and turned to black ashes until they were nothing. In the end, they grew fangs, and their eyes were bloodshot red. They were vampires.

"My apologies for having to go through all of this, just to weed out the vampires," Boy said to the parade commissioner Marlene.

"No, you were right, they are very arrogant and have huge egos, " she replied.

"You should continue with this parade," Boy reassured Marlene. "You could be on to something."


17A Productions Presents

Lopaka Kapanui at Hawaii Theatre

A LIVE and IN-PERSON storytelling concert at the historic Hawaii Theatre. This master storyteller is one of Hawaii's most popular teller of tales and has been in the business of scaring people for more than 20 years. Lopaka is terrifically skilled at provoking that sudden chill going down one's back or causing the small hairs on your arms to stand up. Chicken skin is what we call it in Hawai'i. Others might refer to it as chills or goosebumps. Sharing real accounts of Hawaii's supernatural culture, Lopaka often leaves audience members questioning the darkness on their drive home and anxiously leaving the light on at bedtime.