I needed peace, quiet, and stillness. I needed all the sound to go away so I could think clearly. I needed the kind of silence that is so unnerving that you can't be within it. Where I found it would completely surprise you. It's in the middle of downtown Honolulu at the lower part of Fort Street Mall, facing walker park. It's that bit of concrete sitting area just outside of the architect school. The hour is four in the morning when the night is at its deepest and darkest. It feels as if darkness is an eternity that will never see the first light of day. At that precise hour, all elements, dark and light, male and female, past and present, intersect and become one. I witnessed Hawaiians from ancient times moving about their day for an ever brief moment while smatterings of cars languished along Ala Moana boulevard simultaneously. Finally, they saw me and began to approach. I stood and made my way to leave but what I witnessed was disconcerting. It was a downtown Honolulu that did not yet exist.
Fort Street mall was a two-way street. A shortcut left turn on Beretania brought you right up and down the middle of everything. Stores and outlets were converted to apartments or studios. The homeless were gone, and the area was like a new Waikiki, devoid of all the Vegas-style lighting and gaudiness. Then it was gone in a flash, and the deathly silence returned. I could not have left any sooner than I did. What I witnessed stayed with me, and even while I slept on my own bed, I could not shake this overwhelming feeling of wanting to scream bloody murder. It boiled just beneath my chest as something separate from my own conscious thoughts, waiting, fighting, to get out. Am I possessed? Or is my body reacting from being in differing time slips happening all at once? Wish me luck. I'm going back to find out for myself.
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